Reformating

I've had to take several days to decide how I want to continue this blog. I'm in a completely different place than I was two years ago, yet there are vast similarities. I still need to set and achieve small goals. I still need to keep a positive outlook. Yet, I also need a place to record my feelings and my struggle as I deal with my illness. I need a place to explain myself and how my illness affects me. I'm in so much pain, so much of the time. While I do my best to stay positive, I also need a place to honestly express that "No! I'm not OK!"

So I've decided to split each post into sections: Family Fun, POTS Education, Truthful Feelings and Looking Forward.

Family Fun will have cheerful updates about the beauty of my life, the joy I take in watching my children grow, and the things we're accomplishing.

POTS Education will share about how my life is impacted by my illness. Sometimes it will be science and facts, and sometimes it will be a journal of personal experience detailing how life and the "fun times" affect me.

Truthful Feelings will be my expression section. This area is where I will allow myself to be honest about my progress and my feelings. I believe strongly in positive thinking, and my "voice" online tends to sugar coat how things are by focusing on the positive. I've had family and friends assume I was getting better, because I try so hard to present my struggle in a positive light, even when feeling daunted. Here, I'll allow myself (perhaps even force myself) to actually tell it how it is. Even if it's bad.

And finally, in Looking Forward I'll focus on the positive, again. Because I must keep looking forward! As much as I need to be able to have a place to express my pain, I cannot have that place be one of only sorrow or loss. This is where tomorrow's goals will be updated and where I'll put the brave face back on. Every step I take hurts, but the hurt is tied up together with hope, and this is where hope will speak.

See you 'round the webs!
Crystal