My roadtrip to Thirty

So. I'm twenty-nine, now. It was my birthday yesterday. I had a really good day, but really mixed feelings about turning twenty-nine.

The bad feelings? Twenty-Nine and have finished so few of my personal developmental life goals.

The good feelings? I have a whole year until I'm Thirty and so much change can happen in a year. I have so much I can do to be where I want to be by Thirty.

The frustrated feelings? Rowan has started to get really fussy whenever he's not eating, which means I'm holding-rocking-swaying-soothing ALL day long. Even when he's asleep. He falls asleep, or is almost asleep, and if I put him down he wakes up screaming. I can't get anything done! I know he'll get over it eventually but in the meantime it's so frustrating. There's so much I want to DO with my life right now, and all I can do is hold him. There's moments when holding him is all I want to do, and I'm very aware that he's going to grow up SO fast and then I'll miss holding my brand new baby. I know that. I WANT to be able to just hold and cuddle and enjoy him. But why can't he sleep without being held so that I can spend SOME time devoted to just Rhia, too? And get my laundry done? And MAYBE get a room or two tidied? I'm frustrated that he's being SO needy that I have NO balance and that lack of balance is making it hard to unreservedly enjoy his newborn stage. He's my last baby, I really want to cherish every moment. It's so hard to do so when my house is such a mess that I can't relax.

Hopefully I can figure something out so that I am not so restricted in my ability to do things and comfort him at the same time. I have a baby wrap but he doesn't like it. I think I'm gonna have to try a couple other baby carier types. He doesn't like the wrap or our baby bjorn front carier. I wonder if he'll like a sling?.....?

Well, I guess that gives me a first priority project to accomplish first thing tomorrow. Find a sling to try out with him. Last week was another wash, goal wise. I was really sick the first half of the week, and with Rowan being so fussy the whole week I just didn't get anything done.

But tomorrow is Monday. I love Mondays. Let's hope this week is better!

Ciao!