Missing Monday

I find myself missing Monday, today. There's something Magic about a Monday, when it's the start of a whole new week and you've had time to rest over the weekend. When you've had time to renew your spirit and recharge so you can tackle the tasks of the week with success. I didn't get that this week. I was so tired by Monday that I've dragged all week. And today I had a bit of a migraine, again.

Yet despite all that I feel that today was ok. Mostly because once the majority of the pain and disorientation was gone I did get some very important things done. I washed a load of laundry (go me, that's getting to be quite the habit!) and once again I "made" dinner.  I ran errands with Rhia; picking up a multimeter, and some dishwasher soap. And last I took apart our oven to find out what was wrong with it, and then located a new oven that I'll need to find a way to pick up tomorrow.

So even though the whole first 3/4's of my day was a wash, the rest of it was enough to make me feel better about the first part. There's nothing I can do about how disabled a migraine makes me. I'm lucky that Mike has a job that allows him some degree of flexibility to help with days like today.

Today I've realized that my friend Angelina is right, however. I'm searching for my best me, and that means CHANGING my daily HABITS. And every time I've tried to do this in the past I've started seeing good results, gotten excited, then done too much, overwhelmed myself and then burnt out. And last week, I think that's exactly what happened, leaving me burnt out by the end of the weekend. And then this week, just like my pattern, being burnt out makes me feel like a failure. If I truly want to change my lifestyle and habits I need to focus, exclusively, on one at a time. And once it is a habit that I don't have to think about and I just "DO IT" every day, then I add another one, and then another one, and then another one, etc. Until I find myself at the place I want to be.

So, One Goal, and One Goal Only. And that Goal is to do one load of laundry each day, from wash to putting it away. AND this is the last Goal Revision that I'm allowing myself. No matter what, or how bad I feel, I know I am capable of doing a load of laundry. If I can make it two weeks, fourteen days, without a missed day (less Sundays) then I'll add a second habit.

Let's see how I do, eh?

ps (Isn't it funny that I feel like I'm "cheating" in saying "I made dinner", since all I have to do is throw it in the oven to heat it up? Especially when I DID make it in the first place? Honestly, why do I feel that serving a freezer meal, that I made and that I heated up and put on the table and got ready to eat, is "less" making dinner than spending an hour in the kitchen each night? I need to give myself a break.)